Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
