A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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