I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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