are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The best revenge is premature balding
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
