He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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