seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
