He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
