We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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