i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
