he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Houston, we have a blender
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
