so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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