508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
