I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
