I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
