I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
