I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
