So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
