We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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