Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
