if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
