i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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