is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I accidentally burped into my bong.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
