It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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