I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wish there were birth control emojis
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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