I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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