My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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