hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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