i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
