My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
