ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
