oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
