they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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