I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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