new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
