Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
