i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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