i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
