Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
where am i from again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
