I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
