So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
