Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I see more hoeing in ur future
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