the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
