If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
