Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
