Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize