I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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