Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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