there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
