is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
