i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
